an oldie but a quickie…..

 I was in the middle of the simple act of shopping when I first noticed it. Everyone I passed on the sidewalk was laughing at me. At first, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong…and then I glanced at myself as I passed by a shop window.

“Oh my God!” I gasped as the truth revealed itself. “I’m completely naked!”

Everything was flapping in the breeze in all its supposed glory. The passers-by continued to laugh and point as I tried to cover myself with nothing but my hands. What had possessed me to leave the house without any clothes in the middle of winter? And how had I not realized I was naked? Certainly if I’d wanted to flash the entire city of NewYork, I’d have remembered deciding to do so. I thought I could dash into one of the many boutiques that lined Fifth Avenue, but then I realized I didn’t have my purse so I was stranded in the middle of the street, naked as a jaybird and embarrassed beyond all belief. All I could do was turn around and walk back the way I’d come, moving faster than I thought humanly possible.

“What’s the matter?” I yelled at a group of men who were ogling me. “Haven’t you ever seen a pair of tits before?”

I knew I was going to be arrested and wondered how I would explain my predicament to the police. They would think I had lost my mind. I just wanted to get home where my pajamas were waiting, along with the last shreds of my tattered dignity…