The last part of my BeKindRewrite Voices Week quintet. Hope you enjoyed it!
Earle Collison wasn’t your typical football fan. At the age of 89, he’d been a Bears season ticket holder for 55 years, a record for even the most dedicated of football alumni. Nearly seventy years earlier he had been an offensive tackle and he felt the same thrill watching his team take the field as he had as a player. The Bears were playing their hated rivals, the Cardinals, for the right to play in the national semifinals and hadn’t beaten them in 38 years; it was impossible not to get swept up in the excitement.
“Help me up honey.”
“What is it, Dad, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, honey, “ he smiled, taking her arm and slowly getting to his feet. His knees had given out years ago—such was the fate of an offensive lineman—but loyalty demanded that he stand. “I just want to support my team.”
They held hands as the whistle sounded, the roar of the stadium making his heart pound. The ball was snapped and Earl held his breath as Jack faked the handoff and the linebackers followed the running back up the sideline.
“Quarterback sweep,” he murmured. “Go Jack, go!”
Six yards. Eighteen feet. In nine seconds it was over. The team and fans swarmed the field, jubilant in their victory.
Earl Collison could die a happy man.
(word 224 – screw the word count, I just want to write;)
Jen's Rambling Thoughts... 
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Yay! A happy end. Lovely choice picking the old alum to give the scene a little more backstory and make us feel the legacy, not just the moment. Great work all week!
In this short piece, you nicely conveyed who this Earl Collison is — I found him quite endearing and kind-hearted, making that final line all the more powerful.
A wonderful end to the week. 🙂
Thanks, he is a sweetheart isn’t he? One of my favorite characters I’ve created in a while, if I may toot my own horn. lol What I enjoy most about writing is capturing a character’s humanity. I’m glad I was successful with Earl.
Aww this warmed my heart and made me smile, what a lovely end to the week, really enjoyed seeing your development, the more you write, the better you get, and once you master showing rather than telling, you’ll have bags of fun. 🙂
Yeah, too much exposition has always been my worst writing trait. I feel like I learned a lot this week though:)
That’s the main thing, if you’ve gained something from this, it’ll only mean you will get better -as you’ll always be referring to it and adapting it in your future projects (well, I do that that is). 🙂
Happy endings! I loved the character in this post, he was an absolute privilege to read. Great series and see you next time!
Thanks, I was afraid it would seem cheesy, but that was more or less taken from my husband’s tenure at the University of Memphis. We played UT for years and never beat them until 1996 – Peyton Manning’s senior year. There were so many old folks there whose goal it was to simply live long enough to see Memphis win the game. We won 21-17 and it was epic…
Well, I’m honored to be able to share, at least a little, in the experience after this week!
You write a nice story. I enjoyed it – thanks
Cwent2
You captured perfectly what it’s like to be a long-time fan. After you’ve seen it all, you don’t jump around and scream like you used to, but it doesn’t mean you’re any less happy :). Great job!
A very different kind of love here, but still strongly felt. I forgive you going over wc too, given the excitement of the game!
Thanks, EW, I got a little carried away.:) I’m glad you enjoyed it.