Somthin’ ain’t right with Coach. He ain’t himself but wants us to think he’s fine. Why can’t he tell us what’s wrong? I never knew my own Pa – he walked out on Ma before I was born. Said I couldn’t be his. Coach took me in and treated me like one of his own. He taught me how to be a better player and man. I wouldn’t be where I am now if it weren’t for Coach takin’ a chance on me. I sure hope he’s ok. I’m too scared to think that he ain’t.
(97 word count)
A much different voice than the other two. I like the regional tone you used in this one.
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He’s still a kid and he still needs that guidance from a father figure – not ready to lose him. I think this one was even more touching than the last one!
Thanks, he was my favorite to write. I don’t know why, but he was. I can only imagine how awful it was for Coach Gorham’s players to find out how sick he was.
This one hits you. I wonder if Coach knows how much he means to his players.
I think somewhere inside all coaches know. At least I hope they do
Like the others said – this one hits you because of the youth and fear you weave into it.
Thanks for stopping by! I had a hard time writing this one just due to the emotional impact so I’m glad it worked.
He sounds young perhaps Southern. And he definitely cares for his coach. This is my favorite so far. ^ ^
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Just trying to show a rather uneducated kid whose only chance for success is through football. I’m glad you like him. He was my favorite to write.