Internal Monologue

Author’s Note: This is the conflict I’ve had between my head (-) and heart (*) over the last few months. I know not everyone on the left hates conservatives or will hate me for this post, but I fear some will. I hope speaking my mind and being honest will not cost me readers, but I refuse to apologize for who I am, either.

–Have you decided what you’re going to tell them?

*I have no clue what to say…

–How about “my name is Jennie and I’m a lifelong conservative?”

* Very funny. Conservativism isn’t a disease – you’ve been watching the news too much.

–Alright, that was in bad taste. I’m sorry. Can we start over? You just need to get on with it. Treat it like pulling off a Band-Aid… do it quickly and get it over with.

*I know you’re right, but do you know how many friends I’ll lose over this? It’s been like a witch hunt. If you don’t think like they do, you’re the enemy. They’ll drop me like a bad habit.

–So what if they do? They’re not worth having as friends if they could do that to you. Besides, I don’t think it’ll be a galloping shock to them anyway.

*What do you mean?

–Well you’re a southerner living in New England. Some of them probably make assumptions about you for that reason alone.

*Oh, like I’m an inbred hick who pees in a hole in the ground, screws my brother and burns crosses on the weekend?

–That’s a bit on the nose, but yeah. Don’t you want to prove them wrong?

*Of course I do, I’m a good person. I’m not what they think I am. But saying that won’t change their minds.

–But you’re the same person you were when they met you years ago. Nothing has changed.

*Bullshit, everything has changed. We’re on the verge of some next-level shit and people like me are the bad guys, the enemies everyone hates. It’s easier to keep quiet. Besides, I don’t want to hurt, offend or intimidate anyone.

–But they’ve hurt you.

*Well two wrongs don’t make a right. I’m trying to take the moral high ground and turn the other cheek. I can’t call myself a Christian if I don’t.

–There’s being Christian and being a doormat. Two totally different things. Turning the other cheek just gets you slapped twice.

*Well if I put myself on their level, I’m no better than they are.

–Come on! Martyrdom isn’t attractive. Take yourself off your cross.

*It’s called self preservation for a reason. Maybe a blog post would make it easier to say…what do you think?

–You know what I think. Go for it. At least you’ll know where you stand.

*Here goes nothing…thanks for listening.


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