inspired by Bob’s Burger’s actor John Benjamin’s “album” titled “I Should Have Learned to Play The Piano”
…used the bathroom before we left
…paid better attention in church
…never let you walk away
…pled the Fifth
…changed my underwear this morning
…gone home last night
…never let you pet the cat
…stayed in bed
…listened to my mother
…opened the sweepstakes envelope
…never loaned money to my neighbor
… taken the garbage out
…remembered your birthday
…never opened a Twitter account (don’t really feel that way, folks!)
…opened the safe
…never shared my secrets
…never listened to your conspiracy theories
…watched the news
…ignored the protest
….never started this list