secure-manhood

untamed-wilderness

private-parts

blue-blurple

total-bullshit

scrunch-hair

supply-notebooks

ill-fitting-bra

aches-stress

warranty-void

I much prefer hanging out with men who treat me like one of their own than women who hate men and don’t like me because I’m too “old-fashioned” in my interactions with men.

My favorite landscape photographer is Ansel Adams.

I am more than just my lady bits which is why I don’t label myself a feminist.

My favorite purples are the ones that trend toward blue, not red.

Thank God I finally got my perm – I was starting to look like a Muppet on crack.

Have I mentioned lately how much I really can’t stand the human race sometimes?

Is having to live to be 235 in order to use all my stationery really such a bad thing?

There is absolutely nothing worse on the face of the planet than bra shopping. Period.

When I say something is a pain in my neck, I mean it. Thank God I don’t have a literal pain in my butt.

If my mouth had a warranty, I’d have voided it a long time ago.